Why My Solo Connections Are My Strength
2024
Life is a curious thing. We often grow up hearing that the dream is to have a tight-knit friend group, a squad that always has your back, a collective that does everything together. But, for me, it never quite worked that way. I never had that quintessential "friend group" growing up, but now, as an adult, I've come to see that this may have been exactly the way it was meant to be.
I’ve always been someone who thrives on reflection, someone who doesn’t just observe life but contemplates it deeply—whether it’s through work, relationships, or self-discovery. This trait is a core part of my Human Design as a "Reflector." I found this out because of a conversation with Mariella Borschow, who is a fantastic life coach.
While the world may push for large social circles and group dynamics, I’ve learned to embrace my unique design and celebrate the fact that my closest friends are separate from one another. They don’t always know each other, but they each bring something special into my life, filling different parts of me in ways no single group could.
In this post, I’m sharing a little something special about the four people who make my world a bit brighter, a bit richer, and always more magical. They each have their own incredible qualities, and I wouldn’t trade them for anything. These friendships have shaped who I am, and I’ve come to see how having separate friends, instead of one single friend group, can actually be a powerful and freeing experience—one that is authentic, empowering, and ultimately allows me to show up as my truest self.
Monika Koczwara: The Chic, Smart, and Fearlessly Real Leader
I’ve known Monika since high school, and I can honestly say that I feel incredibly lucky to have had her in my life for so long. She is one of the most grounded, resilient, and authentic people I know. As a mother of two (a boy and a girl), a wife, and an incredibly successful businesswoman, Monika is an example of what it looks like to juggle everything with grace—and yes, she does it all while remaining chic as hell.
What I admire most about Monika is her ability to be real—no pretenses, no false fronts. She doesn’t sugarcoat things, and I love her for it. There’s something incredibly refreshing about having someone in your life who is unapologetically themselves and doesn't try to fit into anyone else’s mold. She’s the kind of person you can always count on, no matter what’s happening in your life.
Monika and her husband built a hugely successful business together, and watching them work side by side as a power couple has been nothing short of inspiring. She’s an excellent leader and mentor, and I always feel like I can turn to her for advice, especially when it comes to balancing career and family. Her ability to navigate both with such poise is something I deeply admire.
But beyond all the success and the external achievements, Monika is a soul who gets it. She’s been through her fair share of challenges and triumphs, and yet she’s always stayed grounded. And every time I’m around her, I feel a renewed sense of confidence in my own life.
Ariana Barila: The Manifestation Queen Who’s Always On Her Own Terms
circa 2012
I met Ariana when I was at Parsons, and she’s been my best friend ever since. If there’s one word that sums up Ariana, it’s manifestation. She’s all about creating the life you want, working hard for it, and staying fab every step of the way. She’s unapologetically herself, and that’s one of the reasons I adore her so much. She’s not afraid to live her life on her own terms, and she has this effortless way of making you feel like you can do the same.
When it comes to relationships, life advice, and of course, fashion, Ariana is my go-to person. She knows everything about fashion brands (from high-end to emerging designers), and I always find myself texting her for styling tips or asking for her insight on the latest trends. But what I love most about her is her deeper understanding of manifestation. Whether I’m working on a new project or just need guidance on how to manifest my dreams into reality, Ariana is always there with her wisdom, energy, and endless optimism.
She’s taught me that life doesn’t have to be about following the conventional path—it’s about carving your own, trusting your instincts, and always going after what you want. In a world that often tells us to conform, Ariana has reminded me that I don’t need to fit into a box. I can create my own rules, and I can manifest the world I want to live in.
Camille Jalandoni: My Business Partner and the One Who Knows Me Deeply
Now, Camille is a bit of a different story. Although we’ve known each other for a shorter time, I can honestly say I’ve never met anyone like her. She is one of the most hardworking, intuitive, and driven people I’ve ever encountered. What’s incredible about Camille is that she doesn’t just push me in my work, but she pushes me in life — she challenges me to think bigger, to heal past wounds, and to always strive for more.
Camille and I are business partners working on WERULE, and having her by my side has been nothing short of transformative. I have never met anyone who pushes me to grow and expand like Camille does. She’s not afraid to call me out when I need it, but she also holds space for my vulnerability in a way that feels empowering rather than judgmental. She’s been instrumental in my own growth, both personally and professionally, and the depth of our connection is something that continues to astound me.
We’ve built something incredibly special together, and the bond we share is one of pure trust and mutual respect. Even though our paths to this partnership were different, we’ve found an incredible synergy in each other. She has an incredible knack for helping me navigate the unknown, and I genuinely feel that I can tell her anything. She’s shown me that in business and in life, true success comes from embracing vulnerability and working through it—rather than running from it.
Janusz Kedra: My Brother, My Truth-Teller, My Anchor
Lastly, but certainly not least, there’s Janusz. He’s my brother, and we share a bond that is unlike any other. We challenge each other, we debate fiercely, and we support each other in ways that no one else can. He has an incredible ability to show me the bigger picture when I get too caught up in the details, and I have a way of helping him focus when he needs structure. It’s the perfect balance of opposing perspectives, and it’s something that has made me a better person over the years.
What I love most about Janusz is that he’s always real with me. He doesn’t hold back, and neither do I. We’re not afraid to have hard conversations, but at the same time, we share an unspoken understanding that we’ll always have each other’s backs, no matter what. He’s taught me how to relax, to reconnect with the world, and to see the beauty in simplicity. He’s also shown me the importance of staying grounded and true to oneself, even when life gets chaotic.
Our relationship is one that has continually evolved, and I’m incredibly grateful for it. We’ve supported each other through so much, and I know that no matter where life takes us, we’ll always be there for each other.
The Power of Separate Friendships
The truth is, each of these friends brings something completely unique to my life. They don’t need to know each other to have such a profound impact on me. I’ve come to realize that my separate friendships — while they may seem unconventional to some — are my greatest strength.
Being a "Reflector" by design has taught me that my energy is best expressed in unique, individual connections. Each of my friends provides me with a specific kind of support that I need, and I can’t imagine one group of people offering all of that. By keeping my friendships separate, I’ve created a beautiful tapestry of support, growth, and joy that is truly my own.
In a world that often values collective unity and shared experiences, there is also immense power in individuality. Embracing the magic of separate connections allows us to honor our own unique energy, our own unique needs, and our own individual growth. And maybe, just maybe, that’s the way the world was always meant to be.
FAQs
Q: Why do you prefer having separate friendships instead of a single friend group?
A: As a Reflector in Human Design, I thrive on individual connections. My friendships are each unique and bring out different parts of me. I feel empowered by these separate relationships rather than a single friend group because they allow me to show up as my truest self in each one.
Q: How do your friends help you in your life and business?
A: My friends support me in many ways—whether it’s through life advice, business strategies, creative inspiration, or emotional grounding. Each friend provides me with a different perspective, and I draw strength from each of them in unique ways. It’s this diversity of support that makes me feel whole.
Q: Can having separate friendships be a positive thing for others?
A: Absolutely. Everyone has different needs, and sometimes a tight-knit friend group doesn’t allow for the individual growth or space that some of us need. Separate friendships offer more freedom, more personal growth, and a deeper sense of individuality that can be incredibly empowering.
