A Woman Said My Mission Was Naive. Here's the Flaw in Her Logic About Success
my life is one big mentor fest: friends, teachers & more
The sauna at Equinox is designed for detox, but last week I encountered a different kind of toxin—a limiting belief so pervasive it threatens to cap the potential of an entire generation.
I was speaking about my company, We Rule, and our mission to ensure everyone who needs a mentor can find one. A woman turned to me and said with world-weary certainty, “That’s naive. If you're not born into that higher society and the opportunities it comes with, you don't stand a chance.” Then, she proceeded to talk about her kids.
I smiled, because her comment wasn't just a boast; it was a perfect articulation of a worldview I call the "Closed Loop Fallacy." She wasn't being malicious. She was speaking her truth. But projecting that personal truth as a universal law is exactly how inequality skyrockets. Her challenging my mission as "naive" wasn't an insult—it was an invitation to sharpen the argument for why this work is not just important, but essential.
Deconstructing the Closed Loop: The Flaw in the "Access" Myth
Let's be clear: the woman in the sauna wasn't wrong about her facts. Access to higher society—the unspoken introductions, the legacy connections, the internships that materialize from a single phone call—is a gargantuan advantage. It’s a running start in a race where others begin miles behind.
But her logic assumes the starting line determines the finish line. This is the Closed Loop Fallacy: the belief that potential is a finite resource, locked within a predetermined system of privilege. It’s a worldview that discounts the most powerful variable in the human equation: the transformative power of external belief.
Thinking that only those born into a world of privilege can win is like believing a seed can only grow in a state-of-the-art greenhouse. It completely ignores the power of a sudden rainstorm (an unexpected opportunity), a ray of sunlight breaking through clouds (a moment of inspiration), or the intervention of a dedicated gardener who sees potential in a forgotten patch of dirt (a mentor).
The Closed Loop is a tidy, predictable model. Life, and true success, is anything but.
The X-Factor: Why a Stranger's Belief is a Spiritual Superpower
I disagree with the Closed Loop Fallacy on a soul level because my own life is a testament against it. I wasn't born with a Rolodex of CEOs. Had I relied solely on my initial "access," I wouldn't be here. The game-changer for me, and for hundreds of successful people whose stories I've heard through We Rule, was the intervention of strangers. A teacher, a boss, or a friend of a friend who saw a spark and chose to fan it.
This isn't just a feel-good sentiment; it’s a psychological and spiritual mechanism.
It Shatters the Echo Chamber: Your immediate environment often dictates your perceived limits. A mentor’s belief provides objective proof that a different reality is possible.
It Grants Permission: For someone who has only heard "no," a single "I believe you can" is a permission slip to dream bigger, validating an ambition they were too afraid to voice.
It's a Spiritual Boost: This is the "X-Factor." It’s the infusion of hope that fuels resilience, the knowledge that someone else is invested in your success, which makes you fight harder for it.
From a Sauna Debate to a Societal Mission
This isn't just a philosophical debate; it's an economic and social imperative. The more we accept the Closed Loop Fallacy, the more we justify a world where the opportunity gap widens into a chasm. We allow potential to wither simply because it wasn’t planted in the "right" garden.
This is why the mission of We Rule is the strategic antidote to this lazy thinking. Providing access to mentorship isn’t a naive act of charity. It is a deliberate intervention designed to systematically break open closed loops by creating new networks and forging new pathways for those who were not born with a map. We must keep supporting each other, because every connection we forge is a blow against the cynical belief that where you start is all that matters.
So, was the woman in the sauna right? About her own experience, perhaps. But she was wrong to mistake her reality for a universal rule.
The truly naive belief is thinking we can afford to let so much human potential go untapped. In a world full of closed doors, being the person who opens one for someone else isn't just an act of kindness—it's the most intelligent, strategic, and profoundly human move we can make.
