If You can’t walk away, you can’t negotiate
I said what I said…
Rather, one of my favorite authors once said, “If you can't walk away from a negotiation, then you aren't negotiating. You're just working out the terms of your slavery.“ — James Altucher
This quote is the foundation of every successful deal I’ve ever made.
The skill of negotiating is a non-negotiable part of designing a life and career on your own terms. It’s a power move that gets you what you want, from a salary increase that reflects your true worth to contracts that protect your vision and property purchases that build your wealth.
But here’s the secret no one tells you: negotiation isn't a technique; it's an energy. It's the unshakeable confidence that you will be successful and happy whether or not you close this specific deal. No matter what the situation is, you have to be prepared to fully and completely walk away with nothing if you want to win everything.
In business, especially when your heart and soul are on the line, you cannot afford to come from a position of weakness. I believe in winning and getting what you deserve, and that all starts with your mindset.
The Mindset: From Hopeful to Inevitable
Before you even think about tactics, you need an internal shift. Stop hoping for the outcome you want and start knowingit's inevitable—if not here, then somewhere else.
You are the prize. Whether you're negotiating a salary or a multi-million dollar contract, remember that you bring immense value to the table. They need what you have. This isn't arrogance; it's a statement of fact that must be your internal baseline.
Detach from the outcome. The moment you become desperate for one specific result, you’ve already lost. Your power lies in your freedom. Practice visualizing yourself walking away, happy and successful, because your standards are high and you know another, better opportunity is waiting.
MY 4-STEP BLUEPRINT FOR NEGOTIATING WHAT YOU WANT
1. KNOW WHAT YOU WANT (WITH PRECISION)
You cannot negotiate anything that you can’t articulate with absolute clarity. "More money" is not a goal; it's a wish.
Do Your Research: Before a salary negotiation, research the market rates for your role, experience level, and location using sites like Glassdoor and LinkedIn. Come with data, not just desire.
Define Your Tiers: Go into a negotiation with three numbers in mind:
Your "Shoot for the Stars" Number: The ambitious but justifiable figure you'll ask for first.
Your "Happy to Settle" Number: The realistic goal you truly want to achieve.
Your "Walk-Away" Number: The absolute minimum you will accept before you walk. This is your line in the sand.
2. SHOW UP AS THE MOST BADASS VERSION OF YOURSELF
If you don’t feel powerful, you won’t project power. This is about commanding respect before you even say a word.
Dress the Part: Wear an outfit that makes you feel like the CEO of your own life. When you feel incredible, you act incredible.
Master Your Body Language: Sit up straight, maintain eye contact, and keep your hands visible and calm. Power posing in the bathroom beforehand sounds cliché, but it scientifically works. Let the other person know you are ready, confident, and leading the conversation.
3. ASK FOR MORE THAN YOU WANT
This is a classic for a reason. Always start the negotiation by asking for more than your ideal outcome. This is your "shoot for the stars" number.
This strategy does two things:
It gives you room to compromise without ever dipping below what you actually want.
It immediately anchors the conversation at a higher value, making your real goal seem more reasonable in comparison.
4. BE PREPARED TO LOSE IT ALL
I love what Kevin O’Leary ("Mr. Wonderful") from Shark Tank says about failing businesses: “You have to be ready to go behind the barn and shoot it.“ This brutal honesty is the essence of powerful negotiation.
Prepare to walk away. Prepare to hear "no." Prepare to lose it all. When you can genuinely look someone in the eye and say, "I understand that's your final offer, and unfortunately, it doesn't align with my needs, so I'll have to pass," you hold all the cards. This isn't about losing; it's about demonstrating that you have unbreakable standards and that you are, without a doubt, a winner.
Negotiation FAQ: Your Questions Answered
Q: What if I get emotional during a negotiation?
A: Emotion is human, but unchecked emotion can cloud your judgment. This is why preparation (Step 1) is key. When you are armed with data and a clear walk-away point, you can rely on logic, not feeling. If you feel yourself getting flustered, take a deep breath and say, "Let me take a moment to consider that." Pausing is a power move.
Q: How can I practice negotiating in everyday life?
A: Start small! Negotiate your credit card's annual fee. Ask for a 10% discount when paying cash at a local shop. Haggle (politely!) at a flea market. Every small win builds your confidence for the big leagues.
Q: Is it rude to counter the first offer?
A: It's expected. The first offer is almost never the final offer. To not counter is to leave money and opportunity on the table. A respectful counter-offer shows you know your value.
